Rules of the Road
Get your head on straight or hit the brakes!
Rule #1
If you are driving in the fast lane and someone behind you blinks their headlights...
MOVE IT...
YOU'RE AN IDIOT!
Rule #2
If you left turn in front of someone...
YOU'RE AN IDIOT!
Rule #3
If you are weaving in and out of traffic... you guessed it...
YOU'RE AN IDIOT!
Rule #4
Driving the shoulder...
IDIOT!
Rule #5
Braking up hill...
IDIOT!
Rule #6
Tapping your brakes on/off...
YOU'RE AN ANNOYING IDIOT!
Rule #7
Spending more time in the rearview mirror than the windshield...
IDIOT!
Rule #8
Driving a snow covered car...
IDIOT! CLEAN IT!
Rule #9
Speeding up while the car in the next lane with their left/right directional on, and they can't get in your lane because you're so obnoxious, impolite and always want to be in front like when you were a pushy kid. For no reason! No one liked you then and now you have to be told you have reached the epitome of IDIOCY!
IDIOT, PERSONIFIED!
Rule #10
Driving and being on the phone...
IDIOT!
Rule #11
Eating and driving...
IDIOT!
Rule #12
Putting on makeup/shaving...
YOU'RE A MAJOR IDIOT!
Rule #13
Doing any and all of the above...
PLEASE RELINQUISH YOUR LICENSE YOU COMPLETE MORON!
Rule #14
Driving fast in a residential area...
YOU'RE A DANGEROUS IDIOT!
Rule #15
Driving too slow on a highway or road...
YOU'RE AN EVEN MORE DANGEROUS IDIOT!
Rule #16
Trying to be the traffic monitor of speed in any lane of traffic...
IDIOT... YOU DON'T HAVE A BADGE!
Rule #17
Reading the paper or a book...why? You can't be that smart if you are doing that while driving...
YOU WILL END UP IN THE BACK OF THE PAPER...THE OBITUARIES! IDIOT!
Rule #18
Driving an auto that kills and smokes the ozone...
IDIOT!
Rule #19
Excessively loud music...bsae! base! base! thump! thump! thump!...
YOU'RE AN INCONSIDERATE IDIOT!
Rule #20
Gangsta driving... sitting so low in your seat...
IDIOT!
Rule #21
White knucklers...stay in the slow lane only. You need a 2 hour driving limit per day...between 1am-3am.
IDIOT!
Rule #22
Driving with your directional on...
MAKE THE TURN OR TURN IT OFF...IDIOT!
Rule #23
Rubberneckers...what is wrong with you? Do you enjoy others misery and misfortune...keep driving and use blinders if necessary as the rest of us have to get somewhere...probably to report you on this site...
IDIOT!
Rule #24
Merging..means find your spot and step on the gas. It is not a dance with other drivers...get movin' and keep up!
YOU'RE HESITATION IS CAUSING A TRAFFIC JAM...IDIOT!
Rule #25